The Two Faces of Authenticity—And Why Both Matter
Picture this: You’re standing on a stage, the spotlight’s locked on you, and someone whispers from the front row, “Just be yourself.” But what does that even mean? Which “self” are they talking about? How can you, in a world of performance and pressure, truly be authentic?
It’s the kind of question at the heart of every podcast, self-help book, and spiritual tradition—and one I keep coming back to.
I was in a session with one of my MLB clients—a guy who’s achieved the kind of success most people can only dream of. We were digging into his mindset around failure, trying to get to the root of it. I asked him, “What’s your definition of failure?” He started to respond, but I could tell it wasn’t his answer; it was the answer, the one he’d been taught. So I pressed: “Not the textbook definition. What’s YOUR definition? One that empowers you instead of deflates you.”
He paused. “I don’t know,” he finally said. Then he added, “I’m starting to realize a lot of my answers aren’t mine. I’m starting to realize I don’t even know who I am.”
This was a moment. Here’s a man at the pinnacle of his sport, yet he wasn’t connected to his essence, his identity, his authentic self.
Ever felt that? It’s more common than we admit—this disconnect from who we really are. So how do we fix it? How do we align with true authenticity?
I believe there are two paths to authenticity, and both matter.
Universal Authenticity: The Foundation
Here’s the good news: being authentic doesn’t have to take years of soul-searching. You can start today. The first path of authenticity is universal—traits that any of us can tap into right now. Think honesty, courage, generosity, resilience. When we’re embodying these qualities, we’re at our most real.
Research backs this up. Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson’s studies on character strengths highlight traits like kindness and creativity as the foundation of living authentically—and performing at your peak. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory proves that authenticity thrives when we align with intrinsic motivations, like discipline and love for the game. Even Carl Rogers, one of psychology’s pioneers, believed authenticity comes from congruence—living in harmony with your ideal self.
When you lean into traits like resilience, courage, and empathy—whether it’s on the field or off—you’re already in your authentic zone. It’s not complicated. Authenticity isn’t a destination; it’s a choice you make moment by moment.
Personal Authenticity: The Masterpiece
Then there’s the second path, where most people get tripped up: personal authenticity. This is where your uniqueness comes in—your one-of-one story, your specific quirks, wounds, strengths, and fears. Universal authenticity may be the foundation, but personal authenticity is the masterpiece.
Psychologist Erik Erikson emphasized that discovering one’s unique identity is central to psychological well-being. His work highlights how authenticity emerges from owning what makes us distinct—our experiences, values, and perspectives. Similarly, Dan McAdams’ research on life stories reveals that personal authenticity stems from crafting a narrative that reflects your true self. This is your fingerprint—your unrepeatable mark on the world.
Personal authenticity also drives creativity and innovation. Teresa Amabile’s Componential Theory of Creativity explains how unique combinations of skills, experiences, and intrinsic motivations lead to groundbreaking contributions. When you embrace your quirks, strengths, and scars, you bring something into the world that no one else can replicate.
Neuroscience even backs the idea that individuality is biologically hardwired. Studies on neural plasticity show how life experiences shape your brain in ways that are entirely unique to you. This means your perspective and talents aren’t just different—they’re irreplaceable.
Think of personal authenticity as the fingerprint of your soul. It’s the specific lens only you bring to the world, shaped by your experiences, talents, and imagination. It’s not just about being “different” for the sake of standing out—it’s about offering a contribution that only you can make.
But here’s the catch: we often blur the lines between universal and personal authenticity. We think “be authentic” means we have to show up as our most unique, groundbreaking self all the time. Sometimes, though, all that’s required is universal authenticity—responding with empathy, kindness, or patience. Not every moment demands reinvention. Sometimes, just showing up sincerely is enough.
Why It Matters
The pressure to be relentlessly original can paralyze us. We hesitate, waiting for the perfect moment to unleash some grand expression of our identity. But the truth is, the bedrock of human connection lies in the universal—are we kind, fair, and consistent? Once we anchor ourselves in those shared virtues, we create space to layer on our individuality in ways that matter.
In my work with athletes and performers, I always encourage them to focus on their “why.” When we ground ourselves in universal virtues—compassion, hope, resilience—we free ourselves to innovate authentically. Skip that foundation, though, and it’s easy to end up with style over substance, or worse, a hollow attempt to stand out.
How to Integrate Both
Here’s the playbook for navigating these two paths:
1. Check your foundation: Are you leading with empathy, integrity, and discipline? That’s Universal Authenticity—it’s your compass.
2. Own your quirks: The random expertise, the weird hobbies, the unrepeatable perspectives—these make up your Personal Authenticity. Let them shine.
3. Know your context: Not every moment requires your boldest, most original self. Sometimes, the universal virtues are what’s needed most.
4. Reflect and refine: Authenticity is a process, not a product. Test, adjust, and evolve.
In a world obsessed with “being authentic,” nuance gets lost. True authenticity isn’t just about being unique—it’s about honoring both what connects us as humans and what makes us distinctly ourselves. When we learn to balance Universal and Personal Authenticity, we show up fully—whether we’re in the spotlight, on the field, or simply in the moments that matter most.
Authenticity is a dynamic interplay. It’s not static or one-size-fits-all; it’s about knowing when to lean on universal virtues like empathy or courage and when to let your individuality shine. This balance is where we find our fullest, richest expression of self.
By honoring what we all share and what only we can offer, we transcend tired clichés about “just being yourself” and step into a truth that’s profoundly human and uniquely ours. That’s where greatness lives—not in the quest to stand out, but in the courage to show up fully, in every sense of the word.